When you love Mr. Wrong

(This is an article I wrote for a web page with this as the subject)

Who you love doesn't really matter, heck even Mr. Right can rip your heart out! Its all about how you choose to love and the decisions you make as a relationship is forming. I believe the key is making the relationship an addition to your life, instead of your entire life revolving around the relationship. If you are true to yourself, you will not let anyone lead you in a wrong direction.

You never meet Mr. Wrong. At the first encounter, time stops, angels sing and you are mesmerized by how perfectly he matches all of your dreams. Tall, dark and handsome, making romantic candle-lit dinners, sending you flowers, candy and poems. (Feel free to insert your own idea of what your dreams would entail, these certainly are not mine. Although I do love being served dinner...and candles, not necessary) You proceed to smile your way through conversation that begins and ends with his interests, never once do you negate a word he says. You choose to be whatever it takes to keep from breaking the spell, right?

So after a period of time, could be as little as a month, he gets bored and wants something else, mostly because everything he saw at the first meeting that attracted him to you, is no longer there. You have become uninspiring, by making decisions based on his preferences, not your own. He needs someone to add spice to his life, a bit of mystery coming from around the corner.

If he is a decent human being, he will let you go and move on. If cowardly, you could end up with a hollow marriage, three kids and a mortgage, crying into your pillow, “I have sacrificed my whole life for this love and got nothing in return.” What about your needs? Don't you deserve to have someone fall all over you and anticipate your wants and needs? In my opinion, give and take, from both participants,that's what it is all about.

Now, if at that first meeting, you were honest, vocalizing your own opinions, keeping your life a priority and adding him to the mix, the progression of the relationship would be natural and stimulating for both parties.

I'm not saying that this is, “The Perfect Formula”, (I don't profess to ever have come close to a stellar relationship) but it definitely gives you a better chance of keeping Mr. Right from going wrong.