I was reading a magazine that had an advertisement for a writing contest that was entitled, "The Next Best Thing". They wanted to know what you write about and whether you think you could be,"The Next Best Thing".
Well, I laughed when I pictured myself at that very moment, sitting at my computer in my PJ's, with coffee breath and wild hair and decided that I probably am not anyone’s "Next Best Thing". Naturally, I didn’t enter the contest, but I did contemplate the title.
I write a lot about my life: Memoir. Its what I know and I find I learn how to proceed in my life from events that have happened. Its been a strange road so far and like so many women, I had a romantic view of how my life should be; Husband, kids, pets, house, white fence, etc.
I rushed into my first marriage with a Cinderella theme, thinking this man could whisk me off my feet and carry me high above the adversities of life. Eight years later, my feet resembled the horse’s rather than the dainty feet of the princess.
There was not even one thought of clearing the road of the many mistakes and paving a new one for myself. Instead, I took a leap over the mess on a rainbow-ride to find The Wonderful Land of Oz. This journey would introduce individuals that would co-create my path of wife and motherhood.
Somewhere between the times that you first lock eyes with who you think is your soul mate and you watch the plus sign appear on the pregnancy wand, you begin the slow process of losing yourself.
It could also have taken place when you decided you would do anything it takes to keep this man happy and couldn’t, or when you decided you would do anything it takes to make these kids happy and couldn't.
No matter how it happened, I was misplaced. Years went by and along the way I continually found ways of escaping, finding many distractions. Blindly following the winding, yellow brick road, yearning for the Wizard to make everything OK.
Within the past few years, almost all of the distractions have been slowly slipping out of my life. Some for the better some not so much. Either way, my life, past and present is coming clearly into focus. I keep getting wisps of messages telling me I need to concentrate on myself and see where I am and where I want to take my life. The thought that I could impact my own life is a new concept for me. I guess what Glinda, the good witch said rings true in my life as well; you’ve had the power all along. I didn't need someone else to rescue me or take me to happiness. Indeed, I have had the power all along to make my life happy or sad, smooth or rough, calm or chaotic.
So, I guess I may become, "The Next Big Thing", someday, but for right now, I am content with the fact that I have to get to know who I am and where I want to go.
So, look out Kansas, I am heading home!
